And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Matthew 16:8
A number of years ago, our previous pastor asked me to be the women’s ministry leader at our church. I knew quite a bit about the word of God and had a heart for women, but I wasn’t a very seasoned believer. I still had a lot of growing to do (and I still do) 🙂 . Also, because of my lack of self-esteem, I really struggled to say yes. After prayerful consideration, I realized that God led the Pastor to ask me to lead. So, I decided to trust God and I agreed to accept the role.
There was no women’s ministry at this church before. It was a church plant, so, this was a whole new venture. We were having one meeting a month and doing hospitality ministry. It was going very well.
Then, during one of our women’s ministry meetings, one of the women became upset with me. I shared a message that convicted her and she became embittered toward me. This particular woman, who sat on the board (and was related to the Pastor) was angry. On two separate occasions, in front of the Pastor and others, she verbally attacked me. I grew so distraught that I gave up the women’s ministry. I never felt whole in that body of believers again.
Unfortunately for me (and the women of that church), I let the enemy work through that particular woman. He was able to keep me from doing God’s work. We did not leave the church because I still had some great relationships and I did some awesome ministry things on my own. But, for the duration of our time there, I never again served in a ministry capacity. That church leader/member hurt my feelings and I let the enemy win.
Someone in the church, at some point (if we attend for a period of time), is going to hurt our feelings. It is what we do to each other. It is the enemy working to cause division and discord in the body of Christ.
This is not a new tactic of the enemy.
He doesn’t just use the person who hurt us to cause the division. He uses us, our pride, and hurt feelings to keep us from reconciling. We take things so personally. Even when people try to minister to us, we reject their help. We say things like, “You just don’t understand” or “You don’t know how I felt.” We wallow in self-pity, anger, and bitterness and sometimes we even let it drive us out of the church.
But do we ever take it to God? And, if we do, do we leave it there? “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.
As mentioned, this is not a new tactic of the enemy. How do you think Jesus felt when Judas betrayed Him?
When thinking about Judas we might be inclined to say, “Yes, but he wasn’t forgiven by God.” That is because Judas didn’t repent. This act isn’t written in the Bible. We may interpret the scripture to say he had regret, but he did not repent.
It is also not in the scripture that Judas was denied forgiveness. In fact, God would be a liar if anyone (who repented) was denied forgiveness. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”. It doesn’t say that God loved nice people. And, it doesn’t say that He loved only people who repented. It says He loved the whole world… even Judas. But, like the rest of us, there is no forgiveness without repentance.
Can we say, “Yes, that church leader/member hurt my feelings. But, I love them anyway.” It is what we should say. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34.
Reconciliation is our responsibility too. It is pleasing to God and it is healthy for the body of Christ. It is also a testimony to those who have seen the hurt and witness our forgiveness and Christ-likeness. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” Colossians 3:13.
Neither leaders, nor members of the body of Christ are perfect. We are all sinners. Some in the church have been forgiven of their sins because they showed repentance and asked Christ to be Lord of their lives. However, there are people in the church (the building where we go to worship) that do not know Him as their personal Lord and Savior. Simply attending church doesn’t mean that a person is a follower of Jesus Christ. It just means that they attend a church building. Regardless of our spiritual condition, mistakes are made and feelings hurt. But, if we are truly seeking to please God and to be imitators of Christ, we must forgive and seek reconciliation. “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” 1 Peter 2:21.
At some point, we have all been hurt by those in our circle. Some of those perpetrators have been members/leaders of the church. But, when we distance ourselves from the body, we are distancing ourselves from God. When we allow others to squelch our ministry, we are allowing them to squelch the work of God. And, when we hang on to those hurt and bitter feelings, we rob God of glory. That lack of forgiveness will hinder our relationship with God… and the work of God in us.
Why do we reject God (who can heal us) when we experience hurt from others? Why, when that church leader/member hurt my feelings, did I allow myself to be deterred from God’s work?
Because we act in the flesh. If we will seek the will of God and if we are moving in His strength and power, we will be able to forgive. We will be able to heal. We will be able to continue as an active member of the body, to which God has called us. And He will be glorified.
Then, we will be able to say, “That Church Leader/Member hurt my feelings, but I love and forgive them.”
Father, thank you that you desire our healing. Thank you that you enable us to forgive. Help us to have your heart Lord. Let your mercy and grace pour forth from us. And, where there are hurts and old wounds, Father, heal them. Restore old relationships and give us hearts of humility and forgiveness. Lord, where we have been the instrument of pain and heartache, forgive us. Give us hearts of repentance. Father I pray that you would weigh heavy on our hearts and move us to mend old relationships. Most of all, we pray that you would be glorified in us and that we would be pleasing to you. We pray this in the name of your precious Son, Jesus.
I pray that, if you do not know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and you have experienced these kind of hurts and wounds, you would go to our Life Preserver page (https://forgiven-n-loved.com/life-preserver/) and pray the prayer that is outlined there. God wants to forgive you. He wants to heal you and those old wounds. He even wants to help you to forgive others.
Please pray this prayer. And once you have, please reach out to me at admin@Forgiven-N-Loved.com and let me know. I’d love to be in prayer for you.
Luv Ya!
