I have talked about my parents in previous blogs, but I am not sure I mentioned their self-reliance. My Mom was a strong woman. She was a great example of a woman during the women’s liberation movement. She could do it all and needed no one. And My dad suffered from feelings of insufficiency, probably due to being an eighth-grade drop out. His inferiority issues resulted in random and unnecessary displays of aggression and incredible false pride. He never asked for help. Obviously, I was raised to be very independent. When faced with any kind of dilemma, I had an “I can do it” attitude.
The first time that I remember my dad impressing upon me that I didn’t accept help or “charity” was when I was four years old. We left the farm where we were living and moved to an apartment. My Mom sent me out back while she and my dad unpacked.
As I sat on the back stoop, a nice neighbor lady came out from the apartment next door and asked if I would like some cookies. I was four! Of course, I wanted cookies so I said yes. My mom came out to check on me and, when she saw the cookies, she asked where they had come from. I told her the nice lady next door. Suddenly, my dad came out and reprimanded me. He told me that we don’t accept handouts from people. He then knocked on the lady’s door and gave her the cookies (the few that remained) back, telling her that we didn’t need her charity.
That set the stage for me. I was ashamed, humiliated, and afraid. Not to mention, I felt terrible for the lady next door. From that point forward, I tried not to accept anything from anyone. If there was something I needed, my “I can do it” attitude kicked in. It caused me to power through and try to fix, obtain, or do whatever was necessary on my own. I still have difficulty accepting help and gifts from people.
This attitude permeated every aspect of my life. But, as I aged, it took on a secondary meaning. Not only did I think “I can do it” and that I didn’t need any assistance but I also came to think “I can do it… if I want to”. That meant that I didn’t have to ask for permission. I didn’t have to answer to anyone else. If I wanted to do something, no matter what that might be, I was free to do it.
It was a really sad situation. No matter how desperate my circumstances, I refused to ask for help. I didn’t ask for help in making a decision. Nor did I ask for help in how to avoid trouble. And I certainly never asked for help to fix the trouble that I was in.
But that did not prevent me from being bitter over the fact that no one was helping me. I wasn’t going to ask for help or direction. However, I did get bitter when no one offered to help and I had to struggle through something.
That may sound silly. But, if we think about it, I think that we are all guilty of trying to do things without asking anyone for help… especially God. Then, we get upset when we end up in a precarious position.
We become consumed by our goals, plans, and sinful desires. But, as we struggle, toil, and attempt to achieve and obtain these things, various issues will arise.
Perhaps we have issues with our family because we spend too much time working. Or, we have health issues from working too hard or eating too much, overconsumption of alcohol, or drug abuse. These all take physical tolls on our lives. Our marriage might suffer because we think that we can have our marriage and the affair or pornographic addiction. But remember we have an “ I can do it” attitude. I can do it if I want to and I can do it when it comes to repairing the damage.
Then, as we suffer the circumstances of our rebellion and sin, we get bitter that God isn’t helping us!
God tries to help us resist sin and temptation. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. “When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13. God gives us a way out, but we often refuse to take it.
Proverbs 12:21 says, “No harm overtakes the righteous, but the wicked have their fill of trouble.” So, we reject His help to resist temptation. We ignore the warnings in His word that we will have difficulty if we ignore His warnings. We think “I can do it” if I want to and we go on sinning. But, when the consequences come, we get mad at God! We blame Him for the consequences.
But God doesn’t even stop there! He even sent His own Son to provide us with freedom from sin, guilt, and the eternal consequences of our sin. “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.” 1 John 4:9 (NLT).
How are we bitter with Him!?!?
It makes me think of the old story/joke about the man caught in the flood.
As waters start to rise, a firetruck pulls up. Firemen say, “Come with us. We are evacuating the area.” The man says, “No thanks. God is going to take care of me.”
Waters then consume the first floor of his house. As he looks out of the second-story window, men in a boat pull up and say, “Let us help.” Once again, the man says, “No thanks. God is going to take care of me.”
Then, the floodwaters consume his second story and force him to the roof. When an emergency helicopter arrives and throws him a rope, again he says, “No thanks. God is going to take care of me.”
Suddenly, the man finds himself in front of God. He says, “God, I told everyone that you were going to take care of me. Why didn’t you help?” And God replied, “Who do you think sent the firetruck, the boat, and the helicopter?!?!”
God provides all that we will ever need. He offers everything from sustenance to the ability to resist sin and freedom from the guilt, shame, and consequences of our sin! When are we going to stop thinking “I can do it… if I want to”? When will we stop thinking “I can do it” and try to fix things in our own power and strength? And when will we seek Him and His guidance, strength, and power?
Father God, thank you for all that you do for us. You provide us with food, shelter, your word and instruction, your guidance, and a precious Savior, Jesus Christ! Lord, forgive us for rejecting you. Forgive us for chasing after sin and satisfying our own plans, goals, and fleshly desires. Holy Spirit, help us to seek a relationship with our Heavenly Father. Help us to seek His wisdom, guidance, and leading. And, when we do falter, help us to seek His forgiveness. We love you and pray this in your precious and Holy name, Jesus.
If you have lived by the “I can do it” motto, please go to our Life Preserver (https://forgiven-n-loved.com/life-preserver/) page. On this page, you will find a prayer outlined. Please pray this prayer! Through it, God wants to forgive you. He wants to begin an intimate personal relationship with you. Like the man in the story, God wants to send a firetruck into your life. He wants to rescue you from the floodwaters of sin, shame, and guilt. The hand that reaches out to you from that truck has a hole in it where nails pierced it when He suffered and died in our place. That hand belongs to Jesus and it is waiting for you to grasp it and be pulled to freedom. Please don’t let that firetruck leave without you. Pray that prayer!
Once you have prayed that prayer, please reach out to me at admin@Forgiven-N-Loved.com. I’d love to pray with and for you.
Luv Ya!
